Do you want to kindle romance in your marriage? Why is it
difficult to listen to our spouses and learn the language that speaks most
directly to them. Where were the flowers and cards and verbal sweet- nothings
that would fuel my fire? Unfortunately, kindling romance takes time and
patience, and sometimes it means mastering a foreign language of love. Below
are three process to becoming bilingual in the languages of romance:
Learn the language of love: Kindling romance means
learning to communicate your love to your husband in the terms he understands
best, even if it not your native tongue! The first step is to ask. Simply ask
your husband to describe the nonsexual and … that “say” something to him. They
have the power to
·
Comfort him
·
Turn him sexually
·
Make him feel appreciated
·
Let him know that you respect him
·
Demonstrate the depth of your love for him
Recognize the language of love: It’s one thing to learn
to speak the lingo your husband feels most comfortable with; it’s another thing
to learn to recognize what your husband is trying to tell you when he uses that
same lingo to communicate to you. What are your husband’s patterns? What
messages is he sending your way? Can you begin to appreciate those messages? Do
those messages give you any insights into ways you can better speak to him.
Teach the language of love: You’ve asked your husband for his “wish list” and used it to tailor your words and deeds to meet his needs. You’ve made an effort to recognize and affirm his gestures of love toward you, no matter how different they are from what you long for. Keep the following in mind;
Teach the language of love: You’ve asked your husband for his “wish list” and used it to tailor your words and deeds to meet his needs. You’ve made an effort to recognize and affirm his gestures of love toward you, no matter how different they are from what you long for. Keep the following in mind;
·
Don’t be defensive. Avoid statements beginning
with the words, “you never do such and such”.
·
Do look for relaxed and intimate moments in
which to broach the subject when your husband might be most open to your ideas.
·
Don’t let any one item on your list become a
deal breaker. Your goal is to encourage your husband to communicate in words
and actions that are meaningful to you.
·
Do be direct, without being confrontational.
Your husband may honesty unaware of the fact that back rubs unlock the door to
your love.
·
When possible, do explain what’s in it for him.
Make the effort. Take the time. Learn his language. Teach
him yours. Practice patience, be diligent, have faith. You, too, can become
bilingual in the languages of the heart.